Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
