I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It was confusing and full of hummus
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
