I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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