life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
