I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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