I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
