ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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