So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
