I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
