Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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