she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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