he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
