Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Found your dick twin last night
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
