Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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