Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
