come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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