That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
