all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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