just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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