what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
