Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
