please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
