there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
