she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
