i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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