she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize