haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
