We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
