I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
