Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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