Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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