After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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