you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize