I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
