dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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