he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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