The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
