the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
