I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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