i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So squirting runs in the family.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
