He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
