I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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