the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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