weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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