And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
