either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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