her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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