I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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