I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Randomize