i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize