on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
And then he peed in my hair
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
