No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
