That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize