ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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