Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
