Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
