I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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