need another drink. this is the easiest way
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
