I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize