i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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