He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
