It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Its about making memories worth repressing
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
