Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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