OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
