When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize