Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
